|A More Literate Omegler and Me
||[Jul. 6th, 2010|11:32 pm]
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!|
You: G'day mate!
Stranger: Gutten tag
You: Ni hao!
You: I disagree! This only goes to show that one should formally specify the rules of contests like these.
Stranger: .. okay
You: I'm pleased to see that you've taken the same lesson from this difference of opinion.
Stranger: I have taken nothing.
You: Good. Theft is wrong. You were well brought up.
You: Although the person who owns the rights to the nothing might not like the policy, he was outvoted.
You: Yay for democracy!
Stranger: You won. Im confused
You: I love winning! Winning is fun and tastes like candy! Winning is similar in all positive ways to rainbows and birdsong and the laughter of children!
Stranger: Be my new best friend?
You: I don't know. Is your old best friend violently inclined? Or is he or she old enough to be no threat?
Stranger: They wont touch you. Theyll still be of great importance to me.. just not as much as they used to be...
You: They won't touch me? But then how can we have a hair braiding party?
Stranger: Well, Then I would braid your hair... Fair enough?
You: Spiffy! I think that would be fair enough to satisfy most of the relevant game-theoretic considerations. Are you good at braiding hair?
Stranger: I am. :)
You: can you do a french four-part at an angle without letting any wisps escape?
Stranger: You know it. Im glad youre willing to challenge me.
You: I'm so pleased. I have many friends, and the one skill that not a one of the blasted things has is the ability to do a french four-part at an angle without letting any wisps escape. Well, I suppose one could do it, but she would require the aid of *gel*, which is *heresy*.
Stranger: Alrightie then
You: yup. got friends for rocket science, and friends who grow squash, and friends who can tell me about the interiors of Mormon temples, and friends who are academic philosophers, but no fancy-braid friends.
Stranger: How about a friend that races motocross?
You: Oooh, you know, I don't think I have one of those either. I never felt the lack too keenly, I'll admit, but it does seem to be a gap in my portfolio.
Stranger: Well, I happen to race motocross aswell. :)
You: And do you usually win, or do you tend to be bested by motocross? :P
Stranger: I usally win.
You: Excellent. No mere also-ran, or perhaps also-biked, are you.
You: Unfamiliar with the expression "also ran"? The idea is that the announcer goes "So and so won, and so and so took second, and so and so took third. So and so, so and so, so and so, and so and so also ran."
You: It's all terribly confusing when they all have the same name like that. Announcers compensate with inflection.
You: Except that in motocross presumably you do not run, you bike. Although your bike does run. And in horse races, whence I believe the original term, it is the horses, and not the riders, which are said to have run. So perhaps "also biked" is not the correct port of the phrase after all. Assuming your bike runs. If it doesn't, though, I'd imagine you'd have a less impressive win record.
You: Technically, horses do not have a gait accurately called a run.
You: So it's clearly a figure of speech anyway.
You: It would be like saying of a footrace composed of humans that the racers "skittered".
You: Everyone knows that only spiders and the many-legged nightmare creatures from the netherworld *skitter*.
Stranger: Indeed, everyone knows.
You: It's amazing how well-informed everyone is. I had begun to lose faith in the public schools, but then I realized just how many things everyone knows.
Stranger: Like how turtles can breathe out of their butts?
You: Lots of creatures can do that. The rarity is a creature that can breathe *in* with its butt.
You: I've never managed it, myself. But I can whistle backwards!
Stranger: Is that so?
You: I can whistle so, and any other solfege you care to name, although I will require accompaniment to remain in tune.
You: I once had a flute teacher who could not whistle. You'd think this peculiar, perhaps, but the embouchure is entirely different.
Stranger: I cant whistle
You: What sort of cant? Thieves' cant? I understand that's one of the more popular varieties, but I didn't know it had a whistling format.
You: Although I think we established earlier that you are no thief, and so I should not have jumped to that supposition! I retract it, with apologies.
Stranger: Yeah, well.. im getting a head ache so imma go.
Stranger: Nice listening to you
You: I am sorry that you are in pain. Please enjoy the remainder of the time period most relevant to you which currently is elapsing.
Stranger: good bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.